Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You took a bar mat shot.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
