The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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