this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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