Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
