Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (3113) Bad night (638)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

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  (305): I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x http://tfl.nu/g18f
  Replies (110) Good night (1405) Bad night (4865)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1152) Bad night (5415)
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  (760): View more from California

  Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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  (760): Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint. http://tfl.nu/71cw
  Replies (32) Good night (6553) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table

  (1-256): View more from Alabama

  whatd she say to you?

  (256): View more from Alabama

  no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle

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  (256): my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table (1-256): whatd she say to you? (256): no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle http://tfl.nu/mg7u
  Replies (60) Good night (2169) Bad night (8532)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.

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  (845): We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey. http://tfl.nu/dkad
  Replies (38) Good night (3941) Bad night (1760)
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  (516): View more from New York

  OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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  (516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz
  Replies (34) Good night (8092) Bad night (1937)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.

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  (774): In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES. http://tfl.nu/idd1
  Replies (27) Good night (1638) Bad night (4307)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend

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  (708): I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend http://tfl.nu/sqgg
  Replies (6) Good night (2412) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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  (678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte
  Replies (7) Good night (2377) Bad night (668)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.

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  (865): He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends. http://tfl.nu/ncfq
  Replies (7) Good night (2828) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"

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  (631): I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good" http://tfl.nu/jrza
  Replies (13) Good night (1926) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  ...and?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hate when you're right.

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  (928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8
  Replies (10) Good night (1088) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.

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  (573): Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them. http://tfl.nu/c182
  Replies (8) Good night (978) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.

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  (740): I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable. http://tfl.nu/5qhj
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (172)

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