and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Randomize
