break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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