i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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