if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize