The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
