I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sorry my hands just texted you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
