woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize