All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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