Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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