im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
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We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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