can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize