what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
