dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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