plz talk dirty to me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize