So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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