I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
