Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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