You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize