I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
