Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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