marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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