if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize