Porn is love you can see.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
