She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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