I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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