Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last time i carry you out of a forest
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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