Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
