I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
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I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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