she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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