The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Non-Jews are for practice
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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