every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize