rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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