dude i'm inner monologue high
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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