yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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