week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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