You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
