Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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