i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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