11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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