dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His hands were made for my vagina.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
