you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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