if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
