Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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