I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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