The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
