Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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