is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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