please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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