did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
