he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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