In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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