just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize