i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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