I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
