No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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