im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
