ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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