My nipple is on Facebook.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
love makes seman taste better
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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