meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize