Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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