lets start a swedish sibling band together
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
