So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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