I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
