I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
